Deathbed Regrets: Part 1/5

In a recent Maximized Living newsletter, Dr. Ben Lerner listed the "Top 5 Deathbed Regrets." As I read over them, I thought it might be a good idea to personalize each one, so here we go...

#5 "I wish I had spent less time on my job and more with my family."

This is one that seems nice in theory, but in actuality is a pretty hard one to accomplish. I find it ironic that most people who work to live, end up living to work. The daily grind is not easily escaped, especially since it is a necessity to support a family in today's economy. So how would one, or should I say I, go about my life as to avoid this deathbed woe?

When time is tight because of work or other obligations maybe a key to this one would be "meaning in the moments." This is something I know I could be more intentional in. When I have time and moments with my family I should probably ask myself how to make this the most meaningful. That doesn't mean expensive. It doesn't mean extravagant. It might simple mean that kiss on the forehead and prayer as I tuck my girls in to sleep at night. It might mean that grocery list gets split up and a scavenger hunt ensues for the lowest priced merchandise in the best time. It might mean turning the computer off and setting something demanding aside to eat dinner together with my family. Maybe it's being "fully present" in a conversation with my wife or kids. Overall, the term "meaning in the moment" seems to best describe what I am trying to say.

Most of us have to work to make ends meet, so let's make the most of every moment we are given with our families and create memories we will never regret.

A Strange Sight

A few years ago I saw something uncanny. I was at a local warehouse store when I saw an elderly man running across the parking lot. It struck me as strange and to this day it begs an answer,

“What would make an old man run?”

It isn’t that common to see someone of years trucking full speed. It could almost make a bystander winch as brittle bones hit the pavement. Yet something DROVE this man to defy the norm and risk injury to RUN?

I am not sure in this specific case, but one answer to the question "what would make an old man run" is love. Love causes people to run at airports for homecomings, after cars during an outgoing, to catch a falling child, or even risk life in a war zone to save a friend. Love is truly a powerful force.

There is a beautiful story in the Bible of an old man that ran to his son who had just come home from a deeply shameful and humiliating situation. His father was old. His father was dignified. His father RAN! Too many times we can skip over that powerful imagery. Picture it…

"When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.' But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time.” Luke 15:20-24 (MSG)

If the power of love could make an old man run to embrace his wayward son, I wonder what it could do for us today… in our relationships. There are many emotions that cover and cloud the object of our love on any given day. Maybe it is an argument with a spouse, the disobedience of a child, or the pain of the past. Maybe you just can’t forgive that one thing they did.

If you allow these things to outweigh your love, then as you age you will find yourself becoming less able to show it.

Take a moment today to look past the present circumstances in your relationships and show love to someone who needs you most. Maybe they need to see you run to know it's true.