How to respond when I feel mistreated

Luke 10:27, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "

Loving people is not as easy as it sounds. People can be grumpy, hateful, backstabbing, greedy, prideful, quirky, accusatory, snarky (love that word), or just plain MEAN, but that doesn’t give us reason to return the favor.

2 Timothy 2:23–26, “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”

Jesus calls us the “salt of the earth” (Matt. 5:13). We are called to live out the message of the Gospel as we function as divine ambassadors to those around us. In likeness of Jesus, this could mean speaking boldly against the accepted norm or possibly allowing someone to nail us to a cross.

So, how then do we know how God wants us to respond in different situations?

The answer lies in the objective foundation of Scripture. Therein, we find loving others may mean praying for them (Matt. 5:44), asking for or giving forgiveness (Col. 3:12-14), confrontation (Prov. 27:5), or submission (Eph. 5:21). What to do in different situations may vary, so that’s why we not only need the Scriptures, but also the Holy Spirit.

The Scripture guides us. The Spirit leads and empowers us.

One caution when dealing with difficult people or situations is to guard against bitterness and resentment. When we are on the blunt edge of gossip, slander, hate, backstabbing, church divisions and factions, etc... It is fairly easy to give into the bitterness, turn inward, or lash out in defense. At such times, I’ve found the greatest release is to take Jesus example (Luke 23:34) and simply forgive and pray for God to bless those that hurt me.

It's hard to hear God’s direction in a situation when resentment or bitterness dominates us. Prayer and forgiveness release us to hear the Holy Spirit clearly, which in turn helps us to respond Christ-like in any given situation.

When people bark | Part 1

Whenever I walk by the fence that borders my drive and the neighbors yard, their little Chihuahua sneaks up on me and begins to bark like crazy—swirling in circles and trying to look all tough. For about a year the little rodent made me jump and get what I call “hot nerves” because he always seemed to come out of nowhere and startle me. He really knew how to tick me off.

However, about two months ago something strange happened. Pulling into the drive, I noticed the lil’ noisemaker crouched in the corner of the neighbors yard. Slowly I turned the car off and watched as he stalked closer and closer like a cougar ready to pounce on its’ prey. Cautiously I stepped out from the car and without notice he charged and began his notorious bark-swirls.

Oddly enough, that was the moment I realized that this dog actually likes me.

Sometimes in similar fashion people come at us all the wrong way. For whatever reason, they bark, swirl and continuously catch us off guard. They might try to intimidate us or cause us to react in a negative way. It’s almost as if they find enjoyment in this like the small dog that can make a grown man jump.

The dilemma for us arises when we interpret their “bark” as an attack and defensively react in a negative way. Reacting in a negative way or out of emotion is never a good thing. But how can we react positively if someone is constantly coming at us?

The answer lies in our perspective of the situation.

What we might not realize is that most of the time these people are just lonely and trying to seek attention in all the wrong ways. It’s almost as if causing a reaction from someone (even negative) brings some sort of significance to their life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that this is right or acceptable behavior, but as the recipient of such behavior we must learn to deal with negatives in a positive way as to maintain our own good character.

In the case of lil’ Cujo, I chose to see the barking, swirling and intimidation as his way of playing a game with me. As he tries to scare me, I bring enjoyment to his day. This perspective changed our daily meeting in a dramatic way. No longer do I dread the noisy barks from this taco bell dog, but rather look forward to seeing him because I know deep down, in a twisted way, he loves our time together. If he catches me off guard and makes me jump—he wins. If I spot him sneaking up on me—I win. This perspective might not be based in reality, but it helps me to love the little monster. Sounds weird, I know, but it helps my attitude anyway.

The fact is our perspective matters and makes all the difference! As we challenge ourselves to look for something positive in negative situations or people, we will inevitably change how we react to their barks and swirls. By lightening up and reacting in a more positive way, we can reduce stress and enjoy the interactions with others that we previously dreaded the most.

Proverbs 25:21-22, “If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he's thirsty, bring him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you.” (The Message)

If someone barks at you today, maybe just smile and compliment them some way in return. I would love to hear your experiences and/or feedback on this. Part 2 of this post will deal with some specific examples of how I changed my perspective in real life situations. Stay tuned….

Church Planting with Bob Ross?

Recently, I was trying to help out my daughter Olathe with some math homework. I was taught a certain method of reaching the answer. She, on the other hand, is learning several methods of reaching the same answer. So naturally when she asked me for help it became frustrating for both of us. Let me explain…

For me it was frustrating because I knew what the answer should be and the method I was taught to get to that answer, but that wasn’t what the teacher wanted. If I persisted to teach her my way, she would not actually get a good grade because she needed to show her work through a different method.

On the other hand, it was frustrating for her because she needed help. Since I wasn’t there in class to hear the method she was supposed to use, I had to try to draw it out of her and then work with what she was telling me, which I was more than happy to try.

As a church planter I often find I don’t know how to accomplish everything the Lord requires of me. Many times I want to ask Bob Ross how to paint a “white, puffy cloud” when God really wants me to learn how to paint a storm in abstract. If all I ever do is paint by numbers, will I ever really learn how to paint? In the end, I might have a decent painting, but never a skill to paint an original masterpiece.

Maybe God is more interested in me learning to hear His voice rather than some easy answer to church growth.

When it comes to church planting, there is no shortage of advice, but there just might be a shortage of church planters that rely on the Spirit to show them the next step.

Glean all you can from other church planters, books and blogs but ultimately take “good notes” in the class of the Holy Spirit and learn how to get the methods and answers needed directly from Him. Then as you receive or hear advice from others, you will be able to sort out the methods that God might be calling you to attempt in your context. The rest... respectfully decline.

Discovery Changes Everything

I have been thinking a lot lately about the art of discovering. Discovery is when you realize the existence or potential of something that already existed. It might be that old song a person recently heard for the first time and now plays over and over again on their iPod. It might be that book that was pulled out from the shelf that just can’t be put down. It could simply be discovering the joy in the loving arms of your child, parent or spouse.

On a greater scale, when we discover the divine in the natural we can rest in the bigger picture that God is in control. Take for example the inspiration of Scriptures. The inspired Word of God wasn’t declared inspired by man or a committee… it just is what it is - INSPIRED. We can only discover or recognize that fact. When we do, the inspired Word of God comes alive to us because our perspective has changed. We now realize it is more than just a book of stories - it is God’s communication with man. This changes everything. God is in the details.

As a Christian, I am learning to discover that God has created, ordained and purposed things around and in me long before I choose to recognize them.

This happens all the time in our relationships. Sometimes, as Christians, in the midst of disagreement with a spouse or when the kids act up, it is easy to forget that they are a gift from God. When we do this, we sew strife. We take the gifts that God has given us for granted as they get lost under busy schedules or selfish ambitions. However, as we begin to rediscover God at work in our relationships, our perspective changes and we find joy and wonder in those we are close to. This changes everything. God is in the details.

Lastly, we can discover God in the midst of confusion, pain, or frustrating circumstances. He has been there all along, but maybe we haven't taken the time to notice because it seems so crazy.

Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, "Why is this happening to me?" So she went to inquire of the LORD. The LORD said to her, "Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. -Genesis 25:21-24

Rebekah’s pregnancy was a result of Isaac’s fervent prayer. God answered this prayer, and I am sure this fact was greatly rejoiced over at first. After a season, though, Rebekah felt the strain and the stress of something that wasn’t quite right. I wonder if she was thinking to herself, “If this is an answer from God… what the heck is going on?”

During the strain of a situation it can become easy to forget all that God has done. For Rebekah that moment was pivotal to her endurance in faith. She could have chosen to become bitter at God, forgetting that her situation was an answer to prayer. But, in grand style, the scripture says she went to inquire of the Lord. She knew God was in it and if she could only discover what was going on she could rest in the Lord. God did in fact answer her and she endured this stressful pregnancy until the 9-month season was over.

God is in the details. The art of discovering God and His will can be likened to that book that has been sitting on your shelf for ages. Often you’ve looked past it, sometimes even despised that it takes up so much space. Then, one day you decide to open it and discover a story that invites you on an incredible journey. You grab a latte and sink into that big, comfy chair by the fire. No matter where this story takes you, you are captured. Though conflict arises, you read on knowing that the author is taking you somewhere and this changes everything.

All the while you wonder, “Why didn’t I discover this book a long time ago?”

The Devil Lives There: Part 2

I want you to imagine for a moment a set of parents. Now these parents have an only child and because of this they are super protective. They are so protective that they refuse to have an oven in the house for fear of their child getting burned.

This child will grow up never knowing the joy of coming home to freshly baked cookies, a hot meal, or even a home-made open-faced turkey sandwich (I’m hungry, can you tell?). The child will also never learn to interact with an oven correctly. He will either become scared of the oven completely and never get near it (evil oven), burn himself until he learns how to use it correctly, or read on the Internet or ask a friend how to use an oven without getting burned. If the latter, he could then start an adventure that could lead to a wonderful relationship between himself and the “hot” oven. He doesn’t have to worship the oven, but it sure would help get some good hot food.

A major problem in Christianity today is we tend to shelter ourselves into a “Christian” lifestyle. We find ourselves listening to Christian music as we read our Christian book as we sit in our Christian bookstore. We try on different Christian shirts and buy Christian music and only go to Christian events. We stick a Jesus fish on our car that we will only take to the mechanic with the Jesus fish on his sign and get a bill with a Jesus fish on it as well.

We just avoid the “evil oven” all together because we have been told many times that it will burn us and we are scared or maybe we’ve been told “the devil lives there”.

It is important for a follower of Christ to be exposed to certain things in culture in order to learn to discern. If a disciple is always told not to listen to do something because it might “defile” them, then that disciple will never learn to hear the voice and conviction of God on his own. There is timing and maturity involved, but eventually we need to grow in our faith enough to know what it means to be IN the world but not OF it.

Like the girl mentioned in part 1, she was able to recognize her area of temptation and avoid it because of her love for God and desire to stay pure. She didn’t call a boycott of basements. She didn’t have people picket near the door. She didn’t tell everyone else they couldn’t go into their basements. She simple lived life in response to her love for God and that inspired girls around her to make wise decisions following in her example.

There are some good hot meals out there to enjoy, but make sure you use an oven-mitt before taking some of them out of the oven and definitely don’t go near the oven with a gas leak because the devil might live there.