How to respond when I feel mistreated

Luke 10:27, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "

Loving people is not as easy as it sounds. People can be grumpy, hateful, backstabbing, greedy, prideful, quirky, accusatory, snarky (love that word), or just plain MEAN, but that doesn’t give us reason to return the favor.

2 Timothy 2:23–26, “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”

Jesus calls us the “salt of the earth” (Matt. 5:13). We are called to live out the message of the Gospel as we function as divine ambassadors to those around us. In likeness of Jesus, this could mean speaking boldly against the accepted norm or possibly allowing someone to nail us to a cross.

So, how then do we know how God wants us to respond in different situations?

The answer lies in the objective foundation of Scripture. Therein, we find loving others may mean praying for them (Matt. 5:44), asking for or giving forgiveness (Col. 3:12-14), confrontation (Prov. 27:5), or submission (Eph. 5:21). What to do in different situations may vary, so that’s why we not only need the Scriptures, but also the Holy Spirit.

The Scripture guides us. The Spirit leads and empowers us.

One caution when dealing with difficult people or situations is to guard against bitterness and resentment. When we are on the blunt edge of gossip, slander, hate, backstabbing, church divisions and factions, etc... It is fairly easy to give into the bitterness, turn inward, or lash out in defense. At such times, I’ve found the greatest release is to take Jesus example (Luke 23:34) and simply forgive and pray for God to bless those that hurt me.

It's hard to hear God’s direction in a situation when resentment or bitterness dominates us. Prayer and forgiveness release us to hear the Holy Spirit clearly, which in turn helps us to respond Christ-like in any given situation.

When people bark | Part 1

Whenever I walk by the fence that borders my drive and the neighbors yard, their little Chihuahua sneaks up on me and begins to bark like crazy—swirling in circles and trying to look all tough. For about a year the little rodent made me jump and get what I call “hot nerves” because he always seemed to come out of nowhere and startle me. He really knew how to tick me off.

However, about two months ago something strange happened. Pulling into the drive, I noticed the lil’ noisemaker crouched in the corner of the neighbors yard. Slowly I turned the car off and watched as he stalked closer and closer like a cougar ready to pounce on its’ prey. Cautiously I stepped out from the car and without notice he charged and began his notorious bark-swirls.

Oddly enough, that was the moment I realized that this dog actually likes me.

Sometimes in similar fashion people come at us all the wrong way. For whatever reason, they bark, swirl and continuously catch us off guard. They might try to intimidate us or cause us to react in a negative way. It’s almost as if they find enjoyment in this like the small dog that can make a grown man jump.

The dilemma for us arises when we interpret their “bark” as an attack and defensively react in a negative way. Reacting in a negative way or out of emotion is never a good thing. But how can we react positively if someone is constantly coming at us?

The answer lies in our perspective of the situation.

What we might not realize is that most of the time these people are just lonely and trying to seek attention in all the wrong ways. It’s almost as if causing a reaction from someone (even negative) brings some sort of significance to their life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that this is right or acceptable behavior, but as the recipient of such behavior we must learn to deal with negatives in a positive way as to maintain our own good character.

In the case of lil’ Cujo, I chose to see the barking, swirling and intimidation as his way of playing a game with me. As he tries to scare me, I bring enjoyment to his day. This perspective changed our daily meeting in a dramatic way. No longer do I dread the noisy barks from this taco bell dog, but rather look forward to seeing him because I know deep down, in a twisted way, he loves our time together. If he catches me off guard and makes me jump—he wins. If I spot him sneaking up on me—I win. This perspective might not be based in reality, but it helps me to love the little monster. Sounds weird, I know, but it helps my attitude anyway.

The fact is our perspective matters and makes all the difference! As we challenge ourselves to look for something positive in negative situations or people, we will inevitably change how we react to their barks and swirls. By lightening up and reacting in a more positive way, we can reduce stress and enjoy the interactions with others that we previously dreaded the most.

Proverbs 25:21-22, “If you see your enemy hungry, go buy him lunch; if he's thirsty, bring him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness, and God will look after you.” (The Message)

If someone barks at you today, maybe just smile and compliment them some way in return. I would love to hear your experiences and/or feedback on this. Part 2 of this post will deal with some specific examples of how I changed my perspective in real life situations. Stay tuned….

Swimming with the Sharks

They say a shark will only grow size proportionately to the aquarium it is put in. That means a mature shark in a small aquarium might never grow bigger than several inches.

For us, we might therefore consider aquariums a wonderful place to swim if it weren’t for the following small details…

1. We were made for bigger things: There is no way this 190lb man is going to fit in a little fish tank, but many times I find myself trying to live in the safe box I create. Why? Because that's where there is no danger…. no risk. The sharks are small and can’t really hurt me there. The problem is we were never made to live in little aquariums. We were made for a life of adventure and risk. When we don’t take risks, we can’t exercise our faith. Without faith, we can’t please God.

2. Aquariums are fake worlds: Treasure chests, plastic seaweed, even the way in which the water receives oxygen is contrived. When we submerge ourselves in a world of fake surroundings, we don’t face the realities of life, which essentially cause us to grow. It takes resistance to build muscle just as the hard realities of life in this world cause us to grow spiritually. Look at all the great men and women who became great through their struggle, not by pretending it didn't exist.

3. There’s no room for anyone else: When we live a life of safety, we are become concerned with ourselves as numero uno. We are always looking out for our own best interest. What do fish in an aquarium seem to look forward to most… food! Feed me, feed me! All the while, they are probably looking over at the fish stuck on the glass saying, “Thank you Lord, I don’t have to suck algae and stare out that glass!” In actuality, at least the algae sucker is looking out instead of in.

4. The outside world looks distorted from inside the aquarium: Just how sometimes we see fish distorted from certain angles, I imagine they look out and see some pretty intimidating things. I think of Joshua, Caleb and the other spies checking out the Promised Land. When the other spies came back, they said they saw giants and they felt like grasshoppers in comparison. Typical safe, selfish, aquarium living. Joshua and Caleb, on the other hand, saw the same thing, but they were living a life of risk. They had a different perspective and realized things aren't what they appear. They weren’t going to let their lives be ruled by what things looked like from inside the aquarium.

The deep calls.
Tony Morgan wraps it up in one powerful quote. Read it here.

Spiritual Balance and Foam Tubes

Yesterday, I had to balance on a foam tube. It was an interesting exercise which involved lying down with the tube extending along my spine. I was then told to stretch my hands out from my sides and rock back and forth on the tube, trying all the while to stay horizontally parallel with the ground. It was rather difficult. ☺

Balance is the key. Apparently, it’s what helps the core muscles flex and strengthen. The core is the body’s center of gravity, so as I stretched out to either side gravity would begin to pull me down. In order to stay parallel, I had to flex muscles only God knew I had (they sure aren’t visible). It wasn’t an easy exercise, but if I keep it up the end result will be a strong core and center of gravity.

Spiritually speaking, balance is also one of the keys to having a strong core and center of gravity in every Christian’s life. Ephesians 4:11-14 says,

“It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”

As a pastor and teacher, I function much like a physical therapist. I have a responsibility to teach others how to strengthen themselves in Christ and to find balance in their walk with God.

There are many fads, teachings and exploited scriptures out there that tend to pressure a person in one direction or the other losing their center of gravity. A good example might be the prosperity gospel or unconditional submission to abusive authority. It’s easy to get pulled in to these teachings all the while losing the balance of scripture. Difficulty arises when nuggets of truth are selfishly twisted and appeal to the fleshy forces of gravity. It’s against such forces we resist and pull back to the scriptures holding fast and balancing our lives upon the truths therein.

Scripture serves as our center of gravity. Learning it in context gives us balance. Balance makes us strong. Strength keeps us from being “tossed back and forth and blown around” in our faith. This is a firm foundation in Christ, through grace, which then qualifies us to teach others.

Paul says it this way in 2 Timothy 2:1-2,

“You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.”